The suite was on a high floor of a marble building in Westwood, with glass from floor to ceiling. I was young, my business had revenue and investors behind it, and the terms had been worked out ahead of time. I walked into that room ready to write the check. By the time I walked out, the deal was headed to a committee, and anyone who has been in business long enough knows what that usually means.

I was the only person of color at that table. I can’t tell you for certain what was in anyone’s heart, and I don’t call it more than I can prove. It was bias of some kind, discomfort with someone they had never done business with before. I felt it, and I had a choice about what to do with it.

This bonus episode is the story of that choice. I take no for vitamins, so instead of walking away I asked a different question: what would it take to get them to yes? The answer was creative, a little unconventional, and it put me in that building. That same office later became the first home of Operation HOPE, which is part of why this story still means so much to me. It also taught me a lesson about grace that I didn’t expect.

I made a vow after that day. I never wanted anyone to describe me with a “but” attached, as in “I respect him, but.” I worked to remove every substantive but from my name so the conversation could only end with and. Don’t take things emotionally, don’t assume the worst, and never stop looking for the path forward.

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